HOW TO WIN THE DATING GAME WITH KIDS...PLAY CUPID....

I once held a seminar with a small group of church ladies. The ladies were concerned about how to handle dating while raising children. They had questions like, "When should I introduce my children to my date"? and "Should I incorporate my child on dates with me"? My answer to both of these questions were: "Have you ever had two friends that did not know each other personally but you talked so much about each of them to each other that when they finally met, they became fast friends? They had heard so much about each other through you that they forged an unseen bond without even knowing it. Well, this is the same concept that we want to use when introducing our children to our date.


Let's face it, it is a lot of single parenting going on nowadays. Circumstances are endless, divorce, baby mama, baby daddy, death, grandma raising, auntie raising and so on and so on. Anyone of us could find ourselves being a single parent. A single parent is someone that is raising a child without a
partner. It could even be that the child is not biologically your child. If you are grandma, aunt, uncle or dad without a partner raising a child, you fall into the single parent category. Ok, dating is a beautiful thing. You go out with another adult and have a good time, however dating with children can be a bit tricky. I recommend dating a person for a while to really get to know them before introducing them to your children. It also gives you a little time to play cupid between your child and your date. What I mean by this is on each date you tell your date a little bit about your children and when you return home, you do the same with your children in regards to your date. For instance, on your date you would say, "Yes I have a son and a nephew that I am raising". You let your date know that you treat them both as your sons and you tell your date their ages. The second date, you tell your date that they both play basketball and are in summer league. On the third date you tell your date that one loves video games while the other loves the piano etc.... Meanwhile, after each of your dates when you return home, you tell the boys a little bit more and a little bit more about your date. No need to give intimate details, like he has a tattoo on his left butt cheek, but just cool facts like your date rides motorcycles, or he likes to play basketball too, or he likes to cook. Playing cupid is a double win because it gives you time to get to know your date before actually introducing him to your children and it also helps smooth out the awkwardness of the initial introduction. This same concept applies to men on the dating scene. Whatever you say, be honest with your children about your date. If you are unsure about your date, let your kids know, but tell them why. Again, there is no need to tell your children that you've slept with your date but you can tell them that she is a flight attendant that travels all over the world, once going to China she met Bruce Lee's great grandson. When you play cupid between your kids and your date it becomes a WIN/WIN situation. On the flip side, say you find out that your date has a second job as a porn star and you don't want to continue seeing her. You won't feel so bad because you waited to get to know her for yourself first before you introduced her to your children.  For more info about dating and children stay tuned in to GLS