She told me that they've been dating for about a month and so far things are going well. Kyra said that she and her guy talk on the phone everyday and are always texting each other. She also exclaimed that her new beau was very nice to her daughter which gave her an even better feeling about him. Kyra admitted that she's nervous because she doesn't want to do anything that would ruin what she feels they are building. "This is the happiest I've been in a long time", she gushed. She said that they've gone out to dinner a couple of times. One of those dinner dates, she even paid the tab because he said he didn't have any money. He really surprised her though, because when she looked inside her purse later on that evening, she noticed that he had stuck the money for their dinner down in there. She went on to say that he is self employed and seems to have a bright future ahead of him.
My response to Kyra is that every situation is different. Every man is different with a few similarities here and there. When we speak about men we speak in general consensus terms. There is no real foolproof way to say if a woman waits X amount of days to have sex with a man that they will live happily ever after. Some experts say that it doesn't matter if a woman sleeps with a man on the first date; the relationship could still work out. Other experts say that women should definitely wait to sleep with a man because most men will think that she is easy. I, however, believe that if a woman wants to put a time table on it, the best rule of thumb would be to follow Steve Harvey's 90 Day Rule. Steve Harvey's 90 Day Rule says that a woman shouldn't sleep with a man before she's been dating him for at least 90 days. During that time, he will reveal what type of guy he is and his intentions will be clear. If he's looking for a short term fling, he will most likely be ghost by then.
While discussing having sex with men, there is an analogy I like to use with my clients. I call it the diamond ring/wallet rule. I ask the ladies, "If you have a big beautiful expensive diamond ring, would you come home at night and toss it under the bed? "Would you wear it while working in your garden all day?" The ladies look at me as if I'm crazy and yell, "NOOOO!" "I say right!, you would take very good care of it by placing it in a jewelry box or a safe place." ''You would know where your ring is at all times, right?" I continue on to say, "Well ok, men have the same attitude when dealing with their wallet. When I talk about a man's wallet, I am referring to his time & money. Time is money for most men. When a man puts in his time, effort and money with a lady, she is not easily discarded of. He will try to understand her and he will try to make her happy. Why? Because he has spent so much of his Time, so much of his Effort and so much of his MONEY on her. She becomes his diamond ring. A woman needs to make sure that a man invests his time, effort & money in to her
before she sleeps with him. It's just like an expensive car that men go nuts over. He could be caught washing it everyday for the first six months. He gets regular oil changes and by no means can any rider eat, smoke or drink in it. He takes good care of it because he worked countless hours of overtime to buy it. He slept endless nights dreaming about it and days on end daydreaming. He couldn't wait to get his hands around the steering wheel. Well, this is how you want your guy to think of you. The only way to accomplish this is to allow him to invest in you just like he invests in that car. For more info on Investing time in Relationships, stay tuned in to GLS
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